Wanted Words

There is no combination of words that will make my guard come down. There is no assurance or desire you can offer me in exchange for divulgence of my wanting. The only desire I will share with you is that I want you all the time.

This should be enough to tell you all you’ve wanted to know but because you think I mean it the way you mean it – “I want you” – the narrative of my wanting is lost on you. So when I pull your hips to me with my eyes averted or closed, you should know that I’ve chosen to only let the simplest part of you in.

The things you whisper in my ear render me deaf unless it is an articulation of sensation. I love the sensations you create for me and even more do I love and take pride in the sensations I create for you. There is no utterance of your’s I want more than my name sighed in ecstatic surrender as the backward crane of your neck that tells me of your body’s disbelief.

But when you say things like “I’m so attracted to you,” and “I love our sex,” and “we have a lot of trust,” my ears hear feelings where you’ve said none. So please be silent except in the excess of pleasure. My mind and body cannot be on at the same time when I’m with you. It is safe for no one.

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