MSCL Rewatch: “That is Deep” – with Angela Chase

I just completed a series re-watch of My So Called Life (MSCL). I intended to start with Buffy The Vampire Slayer (BtVS) (the DVDs from the box set don’t want to play on my laptop for security reasons – *insert blood curdling scream*), but perhaps a visit with everyone’s favorite bottle-red beauty and introspective deep thinker, Angela Chase, might be a better fit right now. How does my experience compare with when I first saw this show at the tender age of 9 (seriously, where were my parents?) and subsequent watches at ages 19, 20, 21, 22…. (you get the point)? Let’s see.

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In what ways do my reflections compare with 15 year old Angela? Well, she spends a lot of time thinking big thoughts and feeling big feelings. 

“It just seems like you agree to have a certain personality or something, for no reason, just to make things easier for everyone. But when you think about it, how do you know it’s even you?” — Pilot, Ep1

15 year old self: This could not possibly be more accurate. Why do I have to keep being who my childhood friends want me to be? If I want to wear second-hand tee-shirts, this corduroy and flannel men’s jacket, and use an aqua vinyl beach bag  instead of a backpack, so be it! And if I want to take up with new friends who shop at Pac Sun and Hot Topic that is my business.

27 year old self: Yeah, but you are who you are. The impression we make is basically an aggregate of likes, talents, skills, relationships, and style.  Living in a new country surrounded by new people and without a bounded context, I realize that despite my efforts to present my best parts and withhold the worst, my new friends see me in basically the same way my old friends did.

How come I have to be the one sitting around, analysing him in microscopic detail and he gets to be the one with other things on his mind?” — Dancing in the Dark, Ep2

15 year old self: I think my friends may stop talking to me if I can’t find a topic of conversation that isn’t [John Smith]. If I could just figure out what it meant when he said “find me during lunch tomorrow” I could get on with my life. And what about that bouncy ball he gave me out of that 25-cent machine? What was that about?

27 year old self: So, he seems interested in me and he usually initiates plans. He has a big brain, which is great, but how neurotic is too neurotic? If he’s aware of his quirks, and he seems to be, then maybe it’s not a problem? Do I find him endearing or am I projecting based on what I want him to be? Maybe his hyper-intellectualism is going to be a problem for us… if there were an us. And what did he mean by that text message last night? What was that about?

“What’s amazing, is when you can feel your life going somewhere, like your life just figured out how to get good, like that second.” — Dancing in the Dark. Ep2

15 year old self: I know, right? Best. Feeling. Ever.

27 year old self: I know, right? Best. Feeling. Ever.

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